Dear Mr. Great and Glorious Dragon Lord,
I am applying for a position you don’t know that you need filled, that of your secretary. Before you reject this application, please consider the following. Who organizes and polishes your treasure hoard? Dragon claws are too large and imprecise. You require an applicant with thumbs. Who organizes your schedule? Dragons are too self-interested for this work. You require an applicant willing to write down your every meeting and make sure each one fits neatly into your calendar.
I believe I am this applicant.
I come highly recommended, and I would gladly direct you to my previous employers. Unfortunately, most of them have died. Not through any misfortune or anything caused by me. They died of old age, as mortals tend to do. If you would like confirmation of my abilities,please contact Mr. Winston Churchill. He lives at 28 Hyde Park Gate, London, England, Mortal Realm.
I have enclosed my resume. It is very long. See the attached. (Inside the box. The huge box. You can’t miss it.)
Miss Scarlet Chase